I’ve noticed lately that my writing has become heavy with modifiers – and yes it can be argued that use of modifiers is a part of individual style and style is always somewhat subjective – especially when blogging or writing fiction but it’s come to the point where I think my use of modifiers needs modifying and possibly yours does too.

4 Rules for Modifiers

Rule 1: The Verbal Law of Gravity

The danger is that too many adjectives can make your writing seem inconsequential. Compare these two sentences:

• The linen, embroidered tablecloth was covered with sticky, golden maple syrup, with globs of congealing oatmeal, with dots of buttery toast crumbs, with streaks of yellowy egg yolk, and bloody-looking ketchup.
• The tablecloth was a mess, it’s embroidery trapped syrup, oatmeal, egg, crumbs and ketchup like tomato blood.

Which sentence seems stronger? more readable? Likely you chose the second, which contains only one real adjective: tomato. The commas fragment the first sentence forcing you to stop and add new elements to the picture in your mind.

In English, parts of speech have different weights. Nouns and verbs are “heaviest” because no sentence would be complete without them and they have more gravitational pull on the reader’s mind. Adjectives and adverbs are not necessary to the formation of the sentence and are more lightweight. By relying on modifiers to create your picture, instead of nouns and verbs, your writing become light, fluffy and trivial. This doesn’t mean you should never use adjectives or adverbs but rather to use them sparingly to give impact to a sentence.

Rule 2: The Lexical Constitution

Not all adjectives and adverbs are created equal. An unusual modifier carries more weight than the expected one. In fact, it can often add more impact to a sentence than a noun or a verb.

In the example above the most interesting and “heaviest” word in the second sample sentence is tomato, by describing ketchup as tomato blood. That’s because it’s unexpected in an otherwise ordinary, domestic description.

The same principle holds for adverbs. In the sentence “I hate you,” he said angrily, the adverb is extra baggage. But in “I hate you,” he said cheerfully, it’s unexpected and thus has more weight and impact. In fact, unless and adverb following “said” gives and unexpected slant to the dialogue, don’t use it.

Rule 3: The Economics of Diction

Often you can replace an adjective or adverb by choosing a more precise noun or verb. Consider these two examples:

• The starlet walked shakily to the door, her ruffle and lace clothing fluttering around her clumsily. She held the precious bottle of alcoholic liquid protectively against her trembling chest.
• The starlet stumbled to the door, dress quivering, the precious bottle of Dom Pérignon clutched to her chest.

In the second sentence the image is stronger, the word count is cut in half and the remaining adjective stands out more.

“The most valuable of our talents is that of never using two words where one will do.” – Thomas Jefferson

Rule 4: The Biology of Qualifiers

If unnecessary modifiers weaken prose, then qualifying modifiers weaken even necessary modifiers – like leeches feeding on leeches.

Qualifiers modify adjectives and adverbs: very pretty, somewhat talented, a bit late. Do it too often and your reader will be fairly certain you’re a little unsure you actually know what you really might be saying.

Some Definitions

modifier

–noun
1. a person or thing that modifies.
2.Grammar.
a. a word, phrase, or sentence element that limits or qualifies the sense of another word, phrase, or element in the same construction.
b. the immediate constituent of an endocentric construction that is not the head.

adjective

–noun
1. Grammar. any member of a class of words that in many languages are distinguished in form, as partly in English by having comparative and superlative endings, or by functioning as modifiers of nouns, as good, wise, perfect.

adverb

–noun
1. Grammar. any member of a class of words that in many languages are distinguished in form, as partly in English by the ending -ly, or by functioning as modifiers of verbs or clauses, and in some languages, as Latin and English, also as modifiers of adjectives or other adverbs or adverbial phrases, as very, well, quickly. Adverbs typically express some relation of place, time, manner, attendant circumstance, degree, cause, inference, result, condition, exception, concession, purpose, or means.

Learn More

A few English grammar resources around the web…
Guide to Grammar and Writing
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation
Grammar Girl: Quick and Dirty Tips

I’ve been a member of The Shoemoney System for the last 30 days as part of my ongoing efforts to make my full time income online.

I’ve made money on the internet over the last 15 years with some mediocre success but I’ve always felt that there were parts of the overall puzzle missing that meant the difference between making a few hundred dollars a month and a few thousand dollars a day online. Over that 15 years I’ve had both good and bad results with everything from CPM banner ads to selling items on eBay to paid writing opportunities to affiliate sales.

I’ve bought literally dozens of books, ebooks, courses and memberships with the hope that one of them would finally give me the secret to really making money on the internet. I have literally spent thousands of dollars over the last 3 years hoping to find the magic beans to make me an internet millionaire and let me live forever after in a fairytale life. If I’m completely honest with you (and myself), I will admit that I’m lazy. I keep hoping for a magic answer to having lots of money instead of actually working hard but so far no luck.

When The Shoemoney System was launched in January I really wanted to join. The $197 per month (for a year!) price tag had me arguing with myself for days.

On the one hand, I’d already spent thousands of dollars on books, programs, etc. over the past 3 years without seeing awesome results. In fact, one program I bought into last year cost me over $1500 and I’d never made it past the first couple of sections. The information was solid but I just couldn’t manage to make myself read all of it let alone act on any of it.

On the other hand, I’ve been a follower of Jeremy Schoemaker’s Shoemoney blog for years, I’d met him in person at Affiliate Summit West 2009, and I’m impressed by all that he’s accomplished. When I heard that Jeremy’s Shoemoney System taught you how to make money online using video tutorials instead of written information I was intrigued. After seeing some of his pre-launch videos I realized that the Shoemoney System was not a one size fits all make money online product. Jeremy covers many different ways to earn online income. Instead of the put all of your eggs in one basket approach of many make money online products, the Shoemoney System takes you through a wide variety of online money making opportunities.

After watching the pre-launch videos at least a half a dozen times over a week or two I decided to try out the Shoemoney System. The fact that Jeremy is offering a 60 day money back  no questions asked refund policy made taking the plunge that much easier. I made a deal with myself that if after 60 days I hadn’t at least made enough money to pay for itself I’d quit, ask for my full refund, and move on.

The Shoemoney System – How it Works

The videos are set up in a very conversational style. In most of the videos Jeremy is talking to someone who knows little to nothing about making money online and he guides them step by step from the basics right through to the advanced techniques.

When you first join your membership area includes some basic introductory videos – not just one or two but dozens of them – explaining definitions of terms like CPM, CPC, Arbitrage, Landing pages and more. Also in the introductory area are dozens more videos with step by step instructions for setting up accounts required to use the Shoemoney System and more.

Every three or four days new videos will appear in your membership panel as you progress through the system. Every two weeks (approximately) Jeremy does a live 30 minute webinar answering member’s questions and Jeremy and his team are pretty good about answering questions through email as well although it might take a few days.

My Results so far

As I mentioned above, over the last 15 years I’ve tried my hand at a bunch of different make money online options with mixed results. I would consider myself at an intermediate level when it comes to making money online so a lot of the videos at the beginning seem to be more for those folks who’ve never tried to make money online before however I’ve definitely learned a lot already about topics I thought I was relatively savvy about.

Following Jeremy’s advice I’ve already made more than enough money to pay for my ongoing membership with The Shoemoney System and while I’m only half way to the 60 days I gave myself to try this out, I’m pretty certain I won’t be asking for a refund. In fact, every day I eagerly check The Shoemoney System for new videos and I’m really looking forward to the next few months. Considering that in the past, with other make money online systems, I’d gotten bored or even forgotten about them by the second week, I’m very pleased with my Shoemoney System experience so far.

Would I recommend it to you?

Yes.
But only if you plan to take the time, follow the steps, learn the procedures, to make the system work.
The Shoemoney System is not a get rich quick scheme.
It is not a magic bean.
It is not a “set it and forget it” make money online plan.
It is a solid system packed with great information that has been proven successful but only if you work at it.

If you do not plan to work at it then do not buy it.

If you want to take the time to learn and work hard toward having a full time income online, I’d love for you to join me at The Shoemoney System. I’m setting up a private email group for people who join The Shoemoney System with me – a place where we can help each other, encourage each other, celebrate each other’s successes – so if you join please contact me so I can add you to the group.

Disclosure: I am paying $197/month to be part of The Shoemoney System. I was not paid to write this post however the links above are affiliate links. My opinions, results and experience are my own and may not reflect those of others using the system.

Chris Brogan, Merlene Paynter & Jason Falls at Blog World 2008

It’s been quite a year since Blog World Expo 2008. It’s hard to believe it’s only been just over a year since I attended Blog World last year  – it was my first conference and little did I know that over the following months I’d attend CES, Affiliate Summit West, SXSWi, BlogHer and IzeaFest as well as Wordcamps, Podcamps, Twestivals, and a number of local social media events.

Also over the past year I’ve started a business, moved, made the decision to home school my teenage son, started a new relationship and launched a bunch of sites, projects and communities. I’ve made a lot of great friends, been a part of some amazing things, and sometimes it’s hard to catch my breath.

Which is why instead of partying in Las Vegas this weekend with many of my friends, I’m home in Toronto. At first the conferences, the travel, the events were fun. I’ve met so many great people, learned a ton of things, and had so much fun but at the same time it’s taking me longer and longer to recover from the trips. I get home and I’m tired. I’m stressed. I’m overwhelmed. My kids are stressed and overwhelmed by the absences too and overall the trips are really beginning to feel more like work than anything else.

Second City Toronto

So I’m home in Toronto this week and while I miss seeing friends in at #bwe09 I am taking some much needed me time. I’ve spent the week enjoying Toronto. So far over the last few days I have attended a concert (Gaslight Anthem with Murder By Death – both were excellent), attended a Second City Toronto show (“Shut Up and Show Us Your Tweets!” which was hilariously funny), went to see Where the Wild Things Are (not for young kids but it was a gorgeous film), dined on a variety of things including homemade pizza, Jamaican Crab Bisque from the Soup Nutsy, and a delicious squash stuffed pasta in gorgonzola walnut sauce. Plans for the next few days include a trip to a Toy & Collectibles show, possibly take in the Airborne Toxic Event concert, and an afternoon pint at a local pub with friends on a weekday afternoon.

Despite the fact that it sounds like we’ve been on the go non-stop all week I feel more rested, refreshed, recharged and even refocused than I’ve felt in well over a year. I know when my “vacation” ends on Wednesday and I’m back to my regular routines I’ll be ready to charge ahead at full steam with renewed excitement and focus than the 50% or so focus for the last few months.

Most of you who read this blog know me from Twitter or Facebook or somewhere around this great big world we call the internet. And most of you know that last year I made some big changes in my life.

I wrote a brief incredibly long and boring update over at Frugal Family Life about my year and some of the things that have happened. If you’re bored and have nothing better to do go on over and check it out.

2008 saw me make a lot of changes in my life but the one thing I didn’t work on at all was health & fitness. I told myself I’d do that in 2009. And here we are, 3 months into 2009 and I’ve not done anything to change my health & fitness at all.

Jeremy over at Ensight.org started a community weightloss project via twitter last week and I’ve decided to join it starting today. After all. Misery does seem to love company

My goals are:

• lose 10-15 lbs over 3 months
• drink 8-10 glasses of water daily (up from zero water most of the time but way too much coffee)
• cut out the caffeine (a month ago was at 6-8 cups daily, now down to 1 very large mug)
• move! – I tend to sit all day – daily walking at the very least
• increase calcium – I’m a 40 yr old woman who drinks too much coffee and has little calcium in diet
• eat balanced meals – I tend to live on pasta & pizza and convenience foods lately
• eat! – I am one of those people who eat only once or twice a day and when I do it’s usually a convenience food. I know that I need to eat regularly but I never think about eating until the kids want supper most nights.

While I’m not going to tell you my current weight (I’ll tell you my age but never my weight!), according to the Body Mass Index Calculator I used I have a BMI of 24.4 which is in the high normal range for my height. According to this I’m not technically classed as overweight (BMI of 25 or higher) but I’m pretty close. I’ve been at this weight (give or take 2 lbs either way) for the last 5 years. I was 15 lbs less than this 10 years ago and I’m hoping to get back to that weight again.

I’m not a believer in diets but I am a believer in making some changes to my lifestyle to improve my overall health and fitness. Instead of living on cup after cup of coffee for the first 12 hours of my day, I’m going to make sure I drink lots of water throughout the day and eliminate the coffee once and for all.

Instead of sitting in front of my computer from 6am until 10pm with little break in between I will start going for a walk midway through my day.

Instead of my usual habit of not eating anything for the first 10 to 12 hours of my day I’m going to eat smallish meals/snacks every 3-4 hours and eat more balanced meals instead of the convenience foods, pasta and pizza I usually eat.

But… Rome wasn’t built in a day so I’m going to break this down with weekly goals.

My goals for week 1:

• Reduce the coffee intake, which is currently 1 really large mug a day to 1 medium sized mug a day
• Increase water from zero to 8 cups per day
• eat! I really need to eat more regularly and better things not just pasta/pizza/packaged foods
• move! I will walk for 20 minutes daily – at least the weather’s warming up – ice/snow is no longer an excuse

Now I need to go buy some groceries. And learn to eat. Maybe I’ll set some reminders in Remember the Milk – something like “EAT you fool EAT!“.